On the Wings of Freedom
by Alta Grey
Summary: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
1. Chapter 1

*Note*: This story is rated MA for a reason. Don't say I didn't warn you. Gore galore, traumatic events, and mild sexual themes later, oh yeah and language lots of language. Please comment on what you think about it. \\./ JAEGER!

Chapter 1:

Year 845

Theda:

Inside the walls my life was already a hell I couldn't escape from. It was a normal day in the life of the cattle. People around me laughing and enjoying each breath of life they had with a sweet smile. I tried to play along in their game, being happy when death lurks outside the walls. Each breath hurt with a sickening falsehood. What use am I? My sister was out in the cadet corps now and all I have is I and mom, and him too. I always have to be improving myself no matter how hard I work.

My sister had thought to join the Survey Corps when she was my age. My dad compares us all the time. Why can't you make up your mind Theda? Use your head Theda. Why can't you be more like your sister? Look at me and smile, always smile even when you don't feel like it. I hated that the most. How can I smile while you keep calling me those horrible names and hitting me all the time? How can you even call yourself my father? Do I really mean that little to you? You treat our family dog with better respect and love than you treat me. That makes being cattle so much better than feeling less than a dog.

I raked through my pocket in my long skirt for the money mom gave me for bread today. She only gave me enough for one loaf. That's all we had with taxes being higher than ever. I faked a smile and pitched my voice,

"Hello Marta, one loaf please."

"Hey there, how is your mother and father doing now that your sister is-" she handed me the loaf and took my money. My sleeve rolled up by itself past my bruise, a dark array of gray, yellow, blue, and purple. Marta saw it and her eyes reflected sorrow and profound pity. I quickly snatched the bread from her and covered up my bruise. Don't look at me like that! Don't look at me like you wished to help me! There was a flash of yellow light and the bustling market was as silent as the dead. Marta stared desperately at the wall. Fear struck me like a bullet in the back.

Do I dare look too? I regretted it but I looked. The red flesh, the outline of body parts. What? No. A titan. It's so large that it's eyes were peering over wall Maria. You could hear a pin drop until every one started running and screaming. An older man unintentionally pushed me over. More and more people flooding the streets in a fire of fear and desperation. Another man stomped on my lower right ribcage. All of the breath left in my lungs were immediately expelled. Intense pain wracked through my body. I dropped the loaf. I craned my neck as best I could to see where I dropped it. it was sitting in a small puddle of water. If I could only reach it. Marta came around to the front of the booth, passed me, and grabbed up the bread without a second thought.

I need that you bitch! Mom and I we need that! Tears welled up in my eyes. Was it from the pain or was it that I couldn't get to the loaf of bread? I couldn't succeed in what I was asked again. when, if I get back home, will dad beat me again all because of one fucking loaf of bread?

There was a loud bang, more screams, huge boulders and smaller stones were scattered everywhere. Get up! Get up! I'm not gonna be crushed by a rock, get up! I used the bread stand to heave myself up. It hurt to breathe. I could walk and if I held my side I could walk a little faster.

I didn't think the screams could get any louder but they did. I heard rumbles like thunder. Looking to the sky, a crystal clear blue. Where is this coming fro-. I stood still paralyzed, frozen in fear. Feet the size of a small house and others surrounding them. This is a titan. I have to move. I have to get to my house. I have to get mom and we have to go inside wall Sina.

I started to run as best I could. I bumped into a feeble boy about my age with a blue sweater and bright blonde hair. I didn't say I'm sorry or excuse me even though I wanted to. Mom would have scolded me for not apologizing but that is in the past now, to day is a day unlike any other in this pen that we live in.

I'm only a block away now, I'm so close. People are getting eaten all around me and with each scream I hear I get more and more afraid. That fear is feeding my energy to run. Just a little faster, a little stronger, a little harder than the last stride. Mom! I rounded the corner and my prayer's and my hopes were confirmed. She was there lying on the ground next to our neighbor's house.

I kneeled next to her cradling her head in my lap. I was so happy to see her. I made it. We're alive so why am I crying so much? I'm happy aren't I? I found her in time didn't I? She opened her eyes and looked at me. She could hardly form a smile but she strived to touch my cheek. I need that touch, just that one touch from her warm hand was all I needed. If I were to get eaten by a titan after mom touched my cheek, I probably wouldn't mind so much. I tried to help her bring her hand to my cheek but her arm all of a sudden went limp. Something in me broke, and I felt it create a deep crater in me.

So many things were racing in my mind and the tears wouldn't stop. Don't go! I'm here! I made it here after being trampled on, all for you mom! You're my whole world don't leave me yet! You can't leave yet! I wanted to make that soup you were talking about with you. It was my job to go and get the bread for the soup.

I put her hand up to my cheek , "See mommy, does it feel smooth? I have been washing my face and bathing just like you wanted me too."

There was no response. It hurt so much, no words, no movement. The emptiness that was my mother's body reflected that of the hole left in my heart and the immense amount of blood pooling from her crushed and chopped off leg mirrored the bleeding of my soul. The tears wouldn't stop. A yell came from somewhere mimicking intense pain and regret. That sound came from my throat and from my dying heart.

›∫› End Chapter 1.


	2. Chapter 2

*Note*: This story is rated MA for a reason. Don't say I didn't warn you. Gore galore, traumatic events, and mild sexual themes later, oh yeah and language lots of language. Please comment on what you think about it. \\./ JAEGER!

Chapter 2:

Year 845

Theda:

As I sat there numb, and unaware of my surroundings many thoughts melded themselves in my head. What do I do now Mommy? Boom Boom Boom. Titans again. Go away! Leave me alone! You caused all of this! You took my mom away from me! I felt someone touch me. Is it a titan that's ready to devour me? Go ahead and eat me, I have nothing to live for anymore. Everyone in the Shiganshina district will die. Is there any hope for humanity now? There has to be even if it's just a small sliver of hope. I looked up at whatever was touching me. Dad. No, you don't deserve the title of father.

He was crying just as I had been. He grabbed me up in his arms and ran with me.

"Let me go! Mom is back there!" I said to him in a course voice. My ribs hurt with the pressure of my father gripping me tight to his side. He didn't retort back or call me names this time. He just held me tighter to his side running to get somewhere safe. You don't really care this much about me do you? This is a joke right? I can't take this! Do you love me or do you hate me?

On the way to the ferry we passed a man from the Garrison regiment holding two kids about my age. I saw their faces, they must have looked like me, maybe the boy looked worse than I did. What did you see? The boy' s face made me feel humble for a moment. It almost made me forget my tragedies. I can't forget. I can never forget.

Dad finally reached the ferry and we got through the guards who were letting people, primarily women and children, into the ferry to wall Rose. More death occur as desperate people tried to jump onto the ferry. I didn't realize there was more screaming but this time it was coming from the ferry. I tried to stand and see over people to see what they were seeing. It was what they called the armored titan. When will this stop? We got across to the insides of wall Rose. Is it over? Are we safe now? We can't go back to the way it normally was. What are we gonna do without mom? What am I gonna do without mom? She isn't there to protect me anymore. She isn't there to protect me from dad and his stupors.

Dad didn't talk to me the entire ferry ride through to wall Rose. What's gonna happen now? Where are we gonna live? What will we eat? Where will we sleep? Will dad continue with his old ways or will we finally come together through the loss of my mother and his wife? There are so many unknowns. I'm so confused and scared. Mommy why did you have to leave?

I started crying and the surrounding people gawked at me as if there was something mentally incorrect with me. I looked up at my father who was now standing over me.

"Daddy?" I said only loud enough for my own ears to hear. He smiled at me and hit me across the head hard enough for me to black-out.

*Later that night.

"I'm sorry daddy! I didn't mean for her to die in my hands! Please I want us to be better! I want us to be better!" the tears wouldn't stop falling. Why did I think that he loved me? What am I to him? A punching bag. Something to fixate his anger on. Someone he could take control over, that's what I am.

Searing pain sensations flooded my body. My body was littered with bruises, welts, and cuts. I hate you! I want you to die! Leave me be!

*Year 850

Eren Jaeger:

It's been two weeks since I joined Levi's survey corps. In a few days we will be targeting the female titan. It's going to be a huge effort from all of us to try and bring her down. Levi announced to everyone that there is going to be a new recruit in today. I wonder if it's going to be someone from my old trainee squad?

I was corralling the last horse in it's stable when I nearly forgot about the horse all together. No way Erwin is here too? Is it all for the new recruit today? Wow. With this kind of attention you'd think the rookie was another me, another person who can suddenly transform into a titan.

After I rushed to put the horse back in it's stable I hurried over in formation in front of our castle-like base. I don't know how they managed to do it but the escorts got a carriage out here. It must've been a very bumpy ride. Whoever this noob is, they have to have some kind of connection to the king because I sure as hell wasn't escorted like that. Maybe they are just a rich jerk from the inner interior. Well, they will be in for a whirlwind out here. I have a feeling that someone like that will die fast.

"Keep your head up and be humble, my mother would always say." said Petra standing at attention and making firm gesticulations to me. I smiled and followed her lead. I wasn't fully prepared to see who came out of that carriage. The door opened and an older man about my father's age, I'm assuming, came out first. Petra's face broke it's military mold and glowed bright with joy. That must be Petra's father. In a way I'm happy for her but I can't help feeling envious of her. I wish my father could come here on a horse drawn carriage. The basement has been such a persistent enigma in my mind. I have so many questions for him. Why can I suddenly turn into a titan now? My fist clenched in a ball as my mind wandered off towards anger.

Regaining my sense of reality only because of Petra's audible gasp, I kept my eyes on her analyzing her. She was crying with her hand over her mouth. I couldn't tell if she was extremely happy or mortified. A girl my age was standing next to the older man. She was very beautiful and she had the longest hair I've ever seen, reaching down to her thighs. She was almost an exact replica of Petra. Petra dropped to her knees and wailed out crying. Through her sobs I could make out a name, Theda.

›∫› End Chapter 2.


	3. Chapter 3

*Note*: This story is rated MA for a reason. Don't say I didn't warn you. Gore galore, traumatic events, and mild sexual themes later, oh yeah and language lots of language. Please comment on what you think about it. JAEGER!

Chapter 3:

*Year 850

Theda:

Never in all my life would I think I would be able to see my sister again. Dad was selling me to the Survey Corps. Parts of me felt very happy to see her but others felt like I wanted to scream at her. You weren't there for me, not when I needed you the most. You don't know what he did to me without mom to barely protect me from him.

Everyone was silent. He put his hand on my shoulder. I only wish I could jerk away from him. The entire special operations squad was there to greet me. They all bowed except for a very tall man with blond hair and his subordinate standing firmly beside him. I recognized the blonde man's subordinate to be Levi the captain of the squad.

He talked with Levi and his superior for about a minute, they whispered so I couldn't make out what he was scheming. I didn't move, how much were they willing to buy me for? What would I have to do for them? Erwin raised his hand to his chest in the way militants do so very often and rose his voice.

"Congratulations, you have been declared the newest member of the Survey Corps. I hope you will become a fine contributor to defeating the titans. I leave you with Levi's squad, you're in good hands."

So that's it? No money transfer? Nothing? Am I really worth a one minute conversation? Everyone relaxed as Levi's subordinate left. I stood still not knowing where to go or what to do. He took Petra around the side of the stable. I have a bad feeling about this. What will you talk to her about? What are you schem-. There was a loud bang, a gunshot. My legs moved on their own, I took a blade from the one I knew was Eren. Not again this can't be happening to me again! I can't lose evrything again!

I rounded the corner and saw Petra lying on the ground holding her shoulder in pain. Thank God he doesn't have good aim but I screamed anyway as My father raised the gun again. I raised the sword and gave no mercy. I was free, you don't have any control of me anymore! Don't you dare hurt my sister! I slashed the blade across his torso, I hope it was deep enough to leave a scar like those he left on me for all those years. I heard another gunshot this time it went through me. I could feel it rip through my stomach like it was a hot knife through butter.

I felt my body thud to the blood stained grass. My new squad stood over me in awe. More of the squad gravitated towards Petra. Eren and Levi were crouched over me. I heard Levi say to me, " That was stupid, but brave, welcome to the family dumbass."

Author's note: sorry I know this one is really short. Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

*Note*: This story is rated **MA** for a reason. Don't say I didn't warn you. Gore galore, traumatic events, and sexual themes, oh yeah and language lots of language. JAEGER!

Chapter 4:

*Year 850:

Theda:

Every second that passed felt like a century. To a certain point I felt like it was alright, the state that I was in. I knew that once I woke up I'd be with my sister again without any constraints. What would we talk about? Maybe she could introduce me to her, no our squad. Once I knew that he was gone for good it was like the world had gone from covered in grey to bursting with colors that I had never seen before.

I woke up in the survey corps' country home. This was the place I had freed myself and my sister from that monster we once called father. A smile formed on my face and I opened my eyes for the very first time, a free woman. I did it mom, are you proud of me? I was plenty sore but I would get over it. The survey corps base was empty and it was just barely dusk. I wonder how long I was asleep for. I trailed down to the lower floor where the kitchen was. There was a note on the table written in my sister's lovely handwriting and it said:

Hope you feel better soon my brave warrior. I braided your hair. You're probably just now noticing too, what a dummy. I love you little sis. Thank you for saving me. My shoulder is feeling a lot better. I'm sorry you're alone, we survey corps had an important mission to do. We'll get that female titan for sure! How about a deal? When I get back you can braid my hair too? See you soon!

p.s. don't overdo yourself if you are still hurting, not everybody can come back from a gunshot.

A knock at the door jolted me to reality just as I finished reading her letter. Oh! I bet it's her! They're back and they succeeded in killing or possibly even capturing the female titan alive! That would be amazing! The entire survey corps would be so famous! I opened the door and saw Levi, Eren, and Erwin there. They were completely silent with their faces contorted in an unnatural sternness. They all looked emotionless. Where is the rest of the crew? My sister where is she? I looked about on their clothes. All I saw was blood, dirt, and heavily calloused hands. My body began to shake on its own knowing what had happened to them before my mind and my heart realized it.

My throat was hoarse and my voice strained. "They're all dead aren't they?" I asked as tears flowed unendingly from my eyes. Levi put his hand on my shoulder and moved me aside. Eren was the first to break his militant mold. He looked just as shattered as me. Did my reaction trigger it? Erwin just went along with the flow. He sat down calm or at least showed nothing on the surface. I and Eren sat down at the table. I looked down at the empty side of the table. We don't belong here. The table should be full with everyone. They have to come back. They have to! I just saw my sister a day ago! She was here! I was going to braid her hair when she got back! I put my hands in my face and wept like never before. Eventually it stopped, I had been crying long enough to have Levi cook for all of us.

I felt so numb to everything that was going on around me, yet if anyone were to remind me of her I feel like I might shatter into a thousand pieces. The plates of hot food were not touched until Levi sat down. Erwin was the first to eat. You could cut the tension with a butter knife. Just above a whisper Erwin thanked Levi for the meal. Levi said nothing in return to acknowledge his thanks. Levi instead gawked across the table at Eren and I. My tears were dried now but that did nothing to stop the immense pain I was feeling now.

"Eat" said the captain. Eren immediately followed orders. I however did not. I had no need for food anymore. The only thing that could quell my sorrows now was her. And she's gone, how do you expect me to live like this?! With all the hell I went through in my life at the end of the road there is no silver lining! It's all pointless! Levi slammed his hand on the table and ordered me to eat. I only looked at him straight in the eyes. My eyes must look so hollow. Levi's eyes tightened with anger and frustration. He grabbed the letter to his left and ripped it into many pieces.

I thought that my heart couldn't break more than once but it did and I had had enough of silence, "You son of a bitch! That was the only thing I had left of her!" I screamed at him. Erwin and Eren were trying to calm us down but nothing would let up. Once again I was shaking in my bones, I didn't know if it was from the anger or the grief I was feeling. Maybe it was both.

"You don't need a stupid piece of paper to remind you of who Petra was. She's in every fiber of your being! Now shut up and eat God dammit! This is war! It always has been and it always will be! The people who sign up for this God forsaken corps know it the moment they become one. With every second of your breath you live to defeat the titans and keep order. They were all warriors fighting for humanity. Don't you dare look down on it like they were nothing!"

As much as speechless could describe me, it was what I was now. He was right but I still feel like there was some kind of hypocrisy in his words. I ate my dinner quietly and once we were all finished we cleaned the kitchen together as some kind of nearly functional family. We all took turns doing our nightly routine. I was the last to go in for a bath. By then the water was just barely warm but it was all I needed to calm myself and make sense of what happened today. Just when I thought all the crying had from earlier had dried myself out I was there in the tub wailing my eyes out all over again. I don't know what to do! Mom is gone and now my sister too?! Just how cruel is this world? Sorrow quickly turned to frustration which turned to anger. Keep your dumb head up Theda! I have to keep going for them! That's the only way I'll make it! I slapped myself on the cheek numerous times. I'm so stupid! So stupid! So stupid! The tears stopped and I was back to being numb.

I tidied up and closed the bathroom door behind me. I noticed Captain was leaning against his door with a cup in his hand.

"Did you come to scold me some more asshole?" I said standing my ground. He came up on me quickly, scooped me up, and threw me over his back. His breath wreaked of alcohol. I've never seen him like this before? Is this your way of coping knowing you undoubtedly led them to their deaths? What about the ones before them? Do you even care at all? What a hypocrite!

He slammed me down on the kitchen table and unfastened his belt buckle. He slammed the drink down next to my head and pulled the rest of his pants down to his ankles. No! No way can't this be happening! I knew you were sick but not this sick! If Erwin ever knew about this he'd kill you personally! He dragged my torso down to meet his. I struggled all I could but he was more powerful than I was. He forced my legs open and proceeded to fondle and caress me.

"Captain please, don't do this! Y-you're drunk."

"Yes I am my dear Petra." He's so drunk he's confusing me with my dead sister?! What the fuck?! Just how messed up is this man? He ripped my clothes and proceeded further. I punched and scratched and kicked but nothing would give. I couldn't yell either it was like my voice had disappeared.

"Now, now I know you probably wanted to wait until we got married but in this world who has the time?" he bit and sucked and licked at my breasts. I reached for the cup and broke it over his head.

"Son of a! You bitch! You're a dumbass Petra to fall in love with a scum bag like me! And now you're fucking dead because of me! You're all fucking dead!" he cried out to the world as I ran passed him down the hall and to my room. I locked the door and tried to hide the evidence. I changed my clothes and hid the ripped ones in a corner of my closet. Bruises would surely be evident tomorrow but of all things I'm an expert at hiding bruises. I could barely get any sleep now being mortified of a Captain that I think I could no longer trust not even a little.

All through the night silently again and again I wept. What have I ever done to deserve this Hell?

**Note to readers: I humbly apologize for the immense delay! This fanfic will most certainly be updated weekly from this chapter on.


	5. Chapter 5

*Note*: This story is rated **MA** for a reason. Don't say I didn't warn you. Gore galore, traumatic events, and sexual themes, oh yeah and language lots of language. JAEGER!

**Chapter 5:**

Theda:

To my amazement I slept, even if it was for three hours I slept after everything that had happened to me. I woke with a knock at my door and a prompt order to be ready in ten minutes. As normal I got my uniform on and exited my room. I wasn't ready by any means to face Captain Levi again but it's not like I could just tell my teammates about it. They would never believe me, let alone even support me. I'd be like the boy who cried wolf. I didn't look at Levi however, that was the very least I could do, give him the coldest of shoulders.

Everyone looked terrible especially the Captain. He probably doesn't even remember what he did and there is not a snowballs chance in Hell he's gonna apologize to me. Like his apology could make the bruises or the torment that I feel now go away anyhow. It's not worth it. Why am I even here? To die a swift and dishonorable death like my sister? No I'm gonna fight tooth and nail. I never deserved any of this treatment. No one does. I'm gonna survive just for the sake of surviving. I have to. I have to fight.

We all ate in awkward silence. Everyone's eyes looked like they were swollen probably from crying. How unusual, I could understand Eren losing his cool but never Levi or Erwin. They try so hard to keep their image in tact when they are in the face of the public. It must haunt them, the deaths they have seen over the years. That's good I hope my sister's death rips Levi apart inside. I guess that has already happened judging by how he needed the bottle up sexual urges to maybe somehow keep him sane. Looks like even the toughest of stones crack eventually, it's just a matter of when.

"Erwin and I have made a decision to keep looking forward. With that statement in mind we have chosen some members of the 104th trainee squad, and top notch too. Don't let yourself get too carried away Eren, just because I bring in your friends along to work for me doesn't make your job any easier. Believe me." Another typical speech from yours truly, the drunken rapist.

"I understand sir." Said Eren.

"Theda may I talk to you outside alone?" Asked Levi. That's strange he never asks anyone to do anything. What's he want round two? I said nothing but instead followed orders. I took a deep breath and walked outside. I turned around to the closed front door so that if he started anything I could open it and run to my room. How pathetic is that? Running to my room like I'm a five year old that's scared of the boogieman.

"I sincerely apologize for what happened last night. It was completely out of line. I should have never drank after we came back. How are you feeling? Is your wound giving you any trouble? I can get a doctor here by sundown." He said.

"Now you're interested in my survival after you had such an intimate moment with me. Oh I get it, I'm the only thing you have left of your Petra." I retorted.

"I can't say that isn't true to a certain extent. It won't happen again I assure you."

"Thanks for the pep talk Captain, as if I needed anymore scaring. You just have to clean up your mistakes don't you? What do you see in me anyway? Do you just want to keep me around as a play toy? Do I remind you too much of her?"

"In some aspects yes you do remind me of her but that's beside the point. You've been doing a great job of it so far however I am begging you to keep quiet about my actions to anyone and everyone." He bowed to me. I have never seen this man in such a pitied state. Bowing? That's unheard of. I like what I'm looking at. That's where you belong prostrating yourself like a dog.

"You expect me to just shrug it off like that was nothing to you? You expect me not to soil your infallible reputation?! It's not up to me to make your sure your social life goes well! I'm not going to be a caged bird to anyone anymore! Ahhhh fuckin' A!" searing pain ripped through my stomach once again and blood over flowed. Great just great! He made me so God damn aggravated that I went and reopened my wound.

"Good, I didn't want you to come with us anyway. We're all moving out new recruits and all to devise a plan for the female titan and to take her down once and for all. Even if it kills me I'm going to make sure that bitch pays." Said Levi.

"What?! Like hell you're going without me!" I followed Levi toward the horse stables with a steady hand on my stomach and a worthy of pity kind of limp.

"I said no and that's final."

"Oh I get it you want to take all the glory don't you? You son of a bitch!"

Maybe I went too far. More searing pain but from my cheek I felt it this time. I knew the feeling well, it was a nice hard slap equal in caliber to my father's. It brought tears to my eyes and for just a brief moment when I looked back at him I thought I had been looking into my father's cold eyes. I was taken aback and afraid as I was I still stood my ground. He's not there, he's not there! It's just this dumbass Captain!

"You are all I have left of her. I'm not going to have you dying before my eyes. What little I have I am going to savor it. Do you understand? I'll make sure a doctor gets here before sundown. There's no telling when we will be back but by dawn tomorrow you will have a roommate and the female titan will be extinguished. Now go to bed Theda." He said with conviction in his voice.

I turned quick on my heel and limped back to the cabin. Eren and Erwin were aghast at my state and insisted that they escort me to my room. I couldn't deny their offers of chivalry. Even if I did my opinion would just be struck down like always. I waited for hours to find myself worried about them even the ones I hadn't met yet. How could I be worried about them? I've only known them for two weeks. That's no sort of time to build any concrete relationship. Besides I haven't even done anything! Not a thing! And that pisses me off even more! I can't just sit here and "heal" I have to fight! Damnit I feel worthless just sitting here like a bump on a log! I want you to be accepting of me. All of you even the rapist because that's how I'll get my family back.

The doctor came and went. He patched me up again real well. I thanked him and gave him a tip, four silvers was all I could find in my pockets. He said he wouldn't accept such a generous offer from such a beautiful young woman. I smiled at that thought and drifted off to sleep. My dream however was nothing short of a nightmare. I could see someone an older man, perhaps, sticking a needle in me. I was scared and I felt sick. In my dream I remember waking up to a woman saying that it didn't work. What didn't work? Am I going to get better now? Where is mommy and sissy? Oh there she is, but why does she look so much older? In my dream I was now in a forest and seeing my beloved sister in front of me and everyone from the scout regiment. I remember smiling as she looked back at me but she did not return the kind favor.

She had a terrified look on her face dare I say petrified {author's note: ;)}. One last wail from her was all I heard before I saw splatters of red. What? I had stomped on her. No no no no no! it wasn't me it wasn't me! More slaughter occurred in my dream until no one was left but Eren. I can't take this!

I awoke in my bed jolted and jarred. I sat up immediately and screamed "I am not a titan!"


	6. Chapter 6

*Note*: This story is rated **MA** for a reason. Don't say I didn't warn you. Gore galore, traumatic events, and sexual themes, oh yeah and language lots of language. JAEGER!

Chapter 6:

My heart was racing in an unimaginable rate. My roommate, though I couldn't make out who it was, loomed over me. I tried to calm myself in a brief attempt to make myself look presentable. Way to go Theda what a great first impression! I could tell it was a small framed person but not smaller than I was. He looked near terrified with a tinge of confusion. It was hard for me to register what had just happened and what was happening now, it was giving me a horrible headache. I clutched at my head and oddly enough putting pressure on it helped.

"Whoa are you alright? You don't look so good. Oh! I'm sorry, my name is Armin Arlert. I'm your new subordinate under Capitan Levi. I mean we're kinda the same. We're colleagues right? I think that's what I meant to say." I could tell he was nervous. Maybe he was just trying to avoid the conversation piece of _'hey so you just had a horrible nightmare about titans. You woke up from it and exclaimed I'm not a titan. Let's be friends for human-kind.'_

If he ever starts talking to me like that then I'll slice his throat just to shut him up. I can't stand people like that. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse Levi came waltzing in like it was his responsibility to check in on me. Almost like I was his property.

"Is everyone alright? Theda I heard screaming." He looked me over thoroughly and checked my wound to see if it had reopened.

"I'm fine. Just a bad dream. I'm sure you get them all the time. Are you done now?"

"Both of you be at the stables in fifteen." He ordered. Ugh I will never get used to the way these people get up in the morning. Fifteen minutes is just too short for me but somehow I managed to do everything in that time frame. Armin, I, Eren, and several others were standing proper and astute like loyal dogs in front of our Captain and his superior. I hate all of this, can't we just hurry this up? To say the least this situation is socially awkward. I still haven't been able to get used to the whole "noobie" thing anyway and we're already getting hopelessly new recruits? What is that shit?

How long did these guys even train? Not to say that I was any better than them, I'm worse by far, having no training at all. I'm just flying by the seat of my pants in hopes to catch up to them. What did Levi see in me? Pieces of himself maybe, twisted fuck.

"I gathered you all here today to review the suspect that we captured a few days ago. Annie Leonhardt, one of your former teammates of the 104th trainees squad. Currently she is in the custody of the Military police. I was granted permission however for you to see the culprit for research purposes only. If you screw this up I will personally make you regret it. You will be given all day for review time so think intelligently about it and don't squander your time. Your jobs are to take notes and analyze the situation and come back to us safe and sound, got it? Armin can I talk to you briefly?" Ordered Levi.

What does he want with shrimpy? I am really not ready to go on this idiotic field trip, but I get to see her; the one who killed Petra. Then maybe I will be able to beat the snot of her and get some revenge. I'm surprised he is letting us out of his clutches for a day. Levi I mean, you expect us to do some real work?

We all saddled up and rode into town, it was sickening how much the townspeople adored us. We're nothing special, just a death trap waiting for new recruits or suicidal people. I didn't expect to see someone encased in an unknown crystal. Once we all got down to this underground cellar where they kept her locked up, I thought that I might explode.

The others looked perplexed, angry, and even scared of her. But I was different, I felt like I was on the verge of crying again. I was frustrated, outraged, grief-stricken, and everything in between. The others could see that something was visibly wrong with me. Among our numbers stood, Sasha, Mikasa, Jean, Connie, Reiner, Bertolt, Erin, and Armin my roommate. Nile Dok, the head of the notorious military division put his hand on my shoulder and leaned in to talk to me.

"If you can't handle it I can show you the door."

That last drop of water was all I needed to send my cup over the edge. I turned and punched him across the face. Eren, Jean, and Armin ceased me at once holding both my arms and lifting me from the ground. Tears were flowing endlessly from my eyes. However my eyes showed anger through them not sadness. I was shaking in my bones from anger and grief.

"I can hold you in jail for this you dog of the survey corps!" he yelled at me while wiping the blood from his busted lip. Armin reflexively apologized to him and that just made it even worse.

"Hell no! This is the kind of treatment we get for all of this death and destruction? She gets to sleep there like some kind of princess? She's a malicious murderer with no regard for this fucked up population of humanity. I want to tear her apart so badly. Make her suffer." I knew everyone was thinking the same thing, they just had no balls to say it, and so I took the liberty of saying it for them.

I tugged Jean and Eren's grasp from me and sat down next to _her. _I hated the look of her so peaceful. What was she dreaming about? I hope my sister's death and everyone else's plays again and again in her head. I hope they haunt her. But at the same time maybe that won't bother her at all. Maybe she is proud of it. That thought angered me even further.

"I'll find a way to break this sleeping beauty's coffin and execute her myself if I have to." I said to no one in particular except myself.

"That would be treason and unlawful malicious intent against an ally." Retorted Nile.

I turned my head to see Nile's face. What the fuck just came out of his mouth? What kind of bullshit is that?! I gripped my clothes tightly to keep myself from lunging at him. My jaw was clenched and I gritted my teeth together.

"You son of a bi−" I began though I was quickly interrupted by the daffodil.

"I don't understand your statement sir. How can you say Annie is an ally when she was proven to murder so many humans? She is notoriously among the ranks of the Armored and Colossal titans. Surely an execution by your division would be appropriate." Armin pondered.

"Once she wakes a trial will be necessary. She is a valuable asset to the Military division. I am certain that I will have the power to acquit her so that she can join our ranks again." Nile said this almost with a smirk on his face. With that I was ready to turn my rage on him but Armin stepped in and lowered his face to mine.

"Levi told me everything. I know you're upset and I can imagine how you must be feeling. I lost my family to titans too a long time ago. You have to calm down though. You can't solve some things with anger. This is one of those things. So just wait a little longer okay?" He told me. I was annoyed that Levi had told this small fry about my past and about my sisters' death but something in this guy made me realize something. I'm not alone anymore. It didn't make the pain go away but somehow it had lessened the weight on my heart. It's possible that he was lying just to get me to shut up but I don't think that was likely because his eyes somehow looked like mine. They reflected that same melancholy stare.

Armin turned to face Nile but Nile had an arm raised and pointing toward the door.

"Get out all of you. Erwin and Levi will hear of this maybe they can put you children in line."

"But sir we haven't had enough time to review the−" pleaded Armin.

"I said get the hell out!" he raised his voice to an annoyed tone. We followed his orders and walked outside with only a few minutes of information from the "suspect". The rest of my squad's stares were brutal. I was about to apologize when Connie spoke.

"What was that all about? We couldn't do shit! All because of pretty-girls' temper tantrum."

"Hey don't talk to her like that. Anyone could've done the same thing." Eren interjected.

"Yeah says the anger management patient" Jean retorted.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear you. Maybe your ego is getting in the way of your rotten mouth. Would you like me to throw you up against a wall again?"

"Oh. What a momma's boy. Let me correct that she isn't here anymore is she?" prodded Jean.

"Who the fuck do you think you−"

"Stop all of you! We are a team! How can we solve anything when we're arguing with each other at the drop of a hat? We screwed up, and we will get reprimanded for it. We have to work together to better ourselves. If we can't do that how do you expect to defeat the titans? Working together is how we survive. C'mon let's go back to the mansion." Armin broke up the argument.

It was a reluctant and taut ride home. I found the courage to thank both Eren and Armin on the way back. I feel like maybe for the first time I could have friends. That thought was oddly relaxing. Slowly we put our horses in our stables and trudged off to the mansion. I'm sure we all felt like a child not wanting to face the consequences of our actions. I was the first to open the door.

Levi was sitting in his armchair in front of the fireplace. He raised his chin and said, "Thank you for spoiling our reputation Theda. This will not go without rebuke. This applies to all of you. How can a team function when one or two of you are uncooperative?"

Author's note: Next chapter coming soon. J


	7. Chapter 7

*Note*: This story is rated **MA** for a reason. Don't say I didn't warn you. Gore galore, traumatic events, and sexual themes, oh yeah and language lots of language. JAEGER!

Chapter 7:

Everyone was nervous, no doubt. Silence was the worst to let our minds fester on the possible consequences that could happen. He could leave us at their mercy, those giant wandering idiots. I guess I wouldn't mind as long as I had a weapon and the 3-d maneuver gear. Then I would fight tooth and nail. Most likely Levi would leave us with nothing but the clothes on our backs and maybe some horses just to delay our deaths. All of it would be my fault or maybe he would pin it on me. We had the luxury or rather the torture of letting us go back to our rooms with no repremandation. He said it himself, our actions today would have grave consequences. So then why was he not carrying judgement out immediately?

Armin sat on his cott and I on mine across from him. He smiled at me. What was that supposed to mean? Are you giving me sympathy or pity? Well I won't accept either from you. You know nothing about me. Anyone who does is now dead. I stared at him judgingly and cold.

"Why are you so nice to me? You don't even know me." I asked him.

"I don't have to know you to be nice to you. We're here together living and breathing for however long we have left. At the very least, wouldn't it be common courtesy to have peace in this place where we are surrounded by torment?"

"I wasn't expecting such a philosophical answer dumbass. The only thing I've learned from peace is that there is always a winner and a loser. That loser is always maltreated. For example, there may be peace between those damned titans right now. In return we have to take each breath with one eye open. Maybe peace isn't the right word, comfort sounds better." This was more than I wanted to say to him, an awkwardly and overly optimistic stranger.

"oh. I guess I haven't thought of it that way. But that was a lie. I used to be like you. Blaming myself for every little mishap that happened around me."

"who do you think you are? You don't know me nor will you ever know me. We are only here momentarily. And for those moments, it's to fight only to die in vain like squished ants. Humans are so stupid! We keep walking blindly to no avail! What do we fight for when there is no one you care about left?" with my last sentence I ended up crying. Why must I cry so much? I'm so weak! Stop crying and suck it up. But it hurts. I hate myself! I brought my legs to my chest and leaned my head on my knees. Armin sat in front of me on the cold wooden floor and touched my hand. That gave me a jolt.

"don't touch m-"

"Like I told you before. I lost my family too to the titans. My grandfather was very close to me and one day he was just gone. It happened when wall Maria broke. Levi told me about your sister, Petra. I'm sorry I can imagine what you're feeling right now. Whatever you do though, don't give up on living. I never knew Petra but I'm sure she'd want you to hold your head high and survive. Levi also told me that your father tried to attack your sister."

"I've been surviving my entire life and I'm sick of it now. If I can't live for something or someone what's my purpose? Don't give me that '_For the sake of humanity'_ bullshit either. As far as I'm concerned the darkness that thrives within humans is the same as the darkness that thrives in the titans." I turned my head away from him so that he would not see an escaped tear. He held the top of my hand tentatively and scrunched his face in sympathy.

"Here." He held out his hand and shook it slightly. You want me to shake your hand? I shook it.

"My name is Armin Arlert. We've both met tragedy face to face. If you have no reason to live, then I'll give you one. From now on you Theda, will be my protector. Have you ever wondered what's beyond those walls?"

"No but I bet the answer is death. What makes you think I'll willingly be your _'protector'_? Like I said before I don't know you and you don't know me. It's probably best that we keep it that way too. In a week, or a month at most you'll end up as food for _them_." I said now facing him and regretting that I did face him because the tear fell from my cheek and I was positive that he saw it.

"So you're telling me that you don't believe in yourself? If I end up dead that'll mean you didn't hold up your end of the bargain."

"What bargain?" I asked him my eyebrow twitching to one side in a brewing cauldron of confusion and anger.

"You're my protector and I'm the person who's gonna figure out the world's mysteries. The titans, the sea, what's beyond the walls, Annie too."

"That bitch is mine!" I retorted with my jaw snapping with the word bitch.

"See, you do have a goal. I'm going to help you achieve it. However, in return for your revenge you need to protect me when I need it. Only when I need it, I don't want to be constantly guarded; I can hold my own for the most part. I also want to get strong enough to where I won't need you. Okay? Do we have a deal?" he asked tightening his grip on my hand.

"Only if it gets me Annie's head. Then yes we have a deal." I said to him honestly this time.

"Good. Nice to meet you Theda. I hope we can be successful in our journeys and discovery." He told me giddily. I hope he had forgotten about my father. I didn't want to dredge any of that up again. I don't intend to tell Armin about Levi either. I don't know how well this partnership will last me but I guess it's worth a shot. We're all gonna die sooner or later aren't we?

I buried my face in my pillow and scrunched my knees tight against my chest, hopefully that would make my mind stop wandering for a few moments. Armin somewhat awkwardly stared at me like he was proud of some accomplishment he had achieved. I was just about to raise my head to spout an expletive at him and order him to get rest for tomorrow when there was a loud knock at the door.

"Theda? May I see you for a moment? It won't take long I promise." I was expecting the voice to be Levi. On the contrary it was Erwin who spoke. Armin said as I rose from my position, "You'll be fine" and smiled at me. I don't know which was worse, the fact that Armin's forced smile was making me worried or the fact that Erwin was summoning me. Where ever Erwin was Levi was bound to follow.

Am I going to get a special kind of scolding for today's actions? Will they ration me? Or tell everyone that I'm some punk kid with no real training under my belt and daddy issues? My hands were increasing clammy. Erwin greeted me with a wide smile, which for him was unusual. He normally gives off this I'm-not-going-to take-shit-from-anyone kind of stern look on his face at all times. He said nothing as to why he needed my assistance at this late hour in the night. I followed him as I should.

"Sir, what are we doing?" I asked him in the politest way I could muster in my current mental state.

"Shh! Everyone is sleeping, that's important for tomorrow. Come with me to my office." He said at a quiet tone the floor boards creaking in agony under our weight. At that I said nothing just followed my orders like a scout regiment dog.

We reached his office with no one awake and griping. He told me that Levi doesn't really sleep anyway.

He reached under a drawer in his desk and pulled out a pamphlet. "Here, Levi is going to test you on your titan killing skills, that means 3-d maneuver gear, where to hit the titans, how well you do in bringing them down, and what you do in a hostile situation. I know it sounds daunting that's why I'm giving you this. It's nothing much but it's better than winging it. I, unlike him, don't want to see you fail before you've even started. You've got great potential Theda." He patted me on the shoulder and sent me to bed. His words were oddly encouraging and that was a feeling that I thought I wouldn't feel ever again. I was happy and excited even about getting this test.

Armin went over the pamphlet with me for two hours, neglecting his rest in the process. No matter how many times I begged him to sleep he just couldn't pass up an opportunity to help me out and give me hands on advice. We got about five hours of sleep 'till dawn. It was sufficient enough for me, I had gone two days without any sleep sometimes when Father would have another one of his authority issues. Five hours of sleep was heaven compared to that even if my back didn't necessarily agree with me.

Armin was still soundly asleep when I woke. When I looked at him now it made me think of the time we spent together last night studying. I never thought I'd enjoy studying but Armin made it sound almost fun. Maybe having this odd friendship between us would pan out to be a good thing. I got ready as silently as I could then I woke him up. He gave a big yawn and a stretch, "Here's to passing".

"Thanks, Armin. I-I wouldn't know what to do beyond some scribbled notes, if you hadn't been willing to teach me the ropes." I said my cheeks flooding with heat. Why am I blushing like this all of a sudden? All I'm doing is thanking him for helping me.

"Well, what would I do if I lost my guardian? Oh, not that I need you for everything. That's not what I meant."

I laughed at his statement. The sun rise was the part I liked most about the morning, probably the only thing I liked about it too. It was strong and unwavering. Steady and brightly shining for everyone to see. I crossed my fingers and hoped that I could be as strong as the sun today.

Everyone was woken up early and met outside. I was given 3-d maneuver gear, and blades. It felt heavy on my aching back but I didn't let that hold me down. For a second we stood in odd silence as nothing was happening. I thought, I'm doing nothing and look stupid in front of my superiors and colleagues. Was Levi lying about the test just to make me look like an idiot? Was this my punishment for the failure at the military police dungeon?

In the distance I heard rumbling like thunder. I checked the sky for storm clouds, nothing. A green smoke flare went up not too far from our base. Conny was the first to blurt out.

"Is that what I think it is? Hell no! We don't have any gear! Only princess has the goods. What kind of sick punishment is this? You need us right captain?!" he exclaimed with his voice wrought with worry and desperation.

Getting closer still I heard an audible Yahooo from Hange. Oh no, that isn't good I know that much. The rumors I've heard about her were insane enough. To be honest I thought this Hange person was some kind of a scout-myth. You know something to get the new people scared.

Hange had rounded up a nearby titan and she was headed our way. No doubt this was my test. I was nervous but I tried to hide it in my face. I took out my swords ready for what was coming my way. I hadn't faced one of these since the wall breach. My hands were clammy and sweat was dripping down my neck. The titan looked to be a relatively small 7 meter titan with erratic movements. This would be tough but I know where to hit it.

"You've got to be shitting me! I'm not gonna die for nothing." Said Jean finally and turned on his heal only to meet Captains'' blade ready and thirsty at his jugular. His eyes were cold and as sharp as his gaze.

"Move one more inch and I'll slice your expendable throat. Trust in your teammate." He said.

"Y-Yes sir!" Jean exclaimed eyes closed in fear and turned back around to face the encroaching titan. I could tell Armin was very nervous, he wasn't expecting this kind of irrational thinking from our squad leader. Did he still have faith in me?

Hange rounded herself off course and I took that opportunity to throw myself at the titan with the gear. One hook latched on to his bulging belly. I zoomed just past his shoulder and at that moment I thought something was wrong. It was staring at me the entire time. Shit! Is this an abnormal? It was fast. I was able to get across its neck when it yanked on the gear attached to its belly sending me to a screeching halt on the other side of its neck and dangling. I hit my head on its body and felt a warm stream running down my forehead.

This won't be how I go out! I gave the gear gas just as it was about to chomp and got to its back side with its nape exposed. I had to be faster than it. With a tribal scream I slashed at the nape with all my force splitting flesh down to the bone and it was over just as fast as it had begun.

"Holy shit!" exclaimed Jean.

"That was so fast I would've missed it if I blinked." Said Armin in awe. I didn't think it was that fast. Levi rose his head and told me I did well. He left and went back inside the mansion. Hange was reeling with excitement and said If I train a little harder in due time I'd be on par with Levi. On the ground I was woozy. Maybe it was from the head wound. What I found odd was a tingling sensation all over my body and like I wasn't in my body any longer. I could tell that everyone surrounded me and was concerned. But I almost couldn't speak to them. I saw the sky around me, glossed over. I was tall. What was that that just swished by me? What's this stupid string? I tugged at it. No sooner a deep searing pain sliced its way through my neck. I let out a near-deafening howl and all was black.

*Note to readers: I sincerely apologize for my tardiness. I have been overwhelmed lately with homework. #collegelife. Also I live on the outskirts of Orlando and have been deeply saddened by the events that occurred here on Sunday (June 12th 2016). I never knew any of the victims personally however the tragedy had an effect on me. If you are a praying people, I ask that you pray for healing for the victim's families.

With the utmost sincerity, Alta Grey.


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